"In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is."

"It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one."

"Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning."

"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."

"Well Microsoft really does develop some really interesting technology."

"The mass majority of computer users are conservative. They want to use the software they're used to using."

"It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute."

"Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

"Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everything's going to work just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as you have contract with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be facing new…"

"Good programmers use their brains, but good guidelines save us having to think out every case."

"In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way."

"Often it is the means that justify the ends: Goals advance technique and technique survives even when goal structures crumble."

"There is some confusion because we only recently began our marketing. We're in an era were people need to think about business processes and applications horizontally...We need to think of the enterprise not as an island of stand-alone technology."

"Two men were examining the output of the new computer in their department. After an hour or so of analyzing the data, one of them remarked: "Do you realize it would take 400 men at least 250 years to make…"

"The new information technology—Internet and e-mail—have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications."

"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."

"Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork."

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."

"If the human race wants to go to hell in a basket, technology can help it get there by jet."

"Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand progress."

"This is a big deal. It's a fairly natural partnership; it shouldn't surprise people, ... We're working on bringing this network-is-the-computer, Net services environment."

"You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary."

"Ever notice how fast Windows runs ? — Neither did I."

"I have to say I was a bit shocked to see myself on the cover (TIME magazine). It's really not my style since Yahoo! is something built by a lot more people than just me.."

"Over the centuries the Indians developed sign language for communicating phenomena of interest. Programmers from different tribes (FORTRAN, LISP, ALGOL, SNOBOL, etc.) could use one that doesn't require them to carry a blackboard on their ponies."

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes."

"I get Canadian porno - that's the extent of satellite service and Internet in my house."

"We're making a major move of the Internet, and runway. Polo.com is a natural extension of both polo.com and our collection business."

"The Internet is the end of civilizations, cultures, interests and ethics."

"In software systems, it is often the early bird that makes the worm."

"I get mail, therefore I am."

"Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences."

"So many good ideas are never heard from again once they embark in a voyage on the semantic gulf."

"To iterate is human, to recurse divine."

"A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable."

"It was never clear that it wouldn't just stop (the WWW). Any time during that exponential growth, it could have stalled. I think we were never very confident until 1993."

"After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for your brain."

"We are very much believers that the web is an open environment, and we need to make sure that people can find all kinds of different stuff through Yahoo!, and not necessarily keeping people within Yahoo!"

"Optimization hinders evolution."

"We will never become a truly paper-less society until the Palm Pilot folks come out with WipeMe 1.0."

"Simplicity does not precede complexity, but follows it."

"Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa."

"The technologies which have had the most profound effects on human life are usually simple."

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime."

"Like punning, programming is a play on words."

"C++ : Where friends have access to your private members."

"Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos, two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished."

"The idea is that instead of going to an online retail site ... and buying a physical CD and having it shipped to you, you actually can buy the song and download the song to your computer hard drive."