"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG."

"Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."

"First, solve the problem. Then, write the code."

"The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. Not so with technology."

"The probability of a flawless demo is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved."

"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in."

"If a program is useless, it will have to be documented."

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

"We shouldn't build a technology to colour, or grey out, what people say. The media in general is balanced, although there are a lot of issues to be addressed that the media rightly pick up on."

"No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the…"

"INSERT DISK THREE' ? But I can only get two in the drive !"

"There is some confusion because we only recently began our marketing. We're in an era were people need to think about business processes and applications horizontally...We need to think of the enterprise not as an island of stand-alone technology."

"Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living."

"First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack."

"If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more."

"SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell."

"There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer."

"All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness."

"It's hard for us in our stores to be a leader in technology."

"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

"Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it."

"I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it…"

"I hope that the internet will get to become ubiquitous and affordable, and if that's achieved, I think it'll be a big part of people's lives - for the better."

"Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is."

"Technology is the drug of choice for most Americans. Source unknown Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."

"If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."

"Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.""

"Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?"

"There's a lot of Google fascination out there and we share it, and we're going to compete, we're going to compete very, very hard."

"I remember the difficulty we had in the beginning replacing magnetic cores in memories and eventually we had both cost and performance advantages. But it wasn't at all clear in the beginning."

"Complexity kills. It sucks the life out of developers, it makes products difficult to plan, build and test, it introduces security challenges, and it causes end-user and administrator frustration."

"Los Angeles County officials have asked that manufacturers, suppliers and contractors stop using the terms 'master' and 'slave' regarding computer hard drives, saying such terms are unacceptable and offensive. Additionally, the term 'e-mail' will now be called 'e-person letter', 'dumb…"

"WinNT: All the headaches of Unix, but in a pretty, windowed environment."

"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."

"They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction."

"Technology is like a fish. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes."

"Security is, I would say, our top priority because for all the exciting things you will be able to do with computers.. organizing your lives, staying in touch with people, being creative.. if we don't solve these security problems, then…"

"The Linux philosophy is "Laugh in the face of danger". Oops. Wrong One. "Do it yourself". Yes, that's it."

"It is a tremendous responsibility for us to have all the eyes focused on what we do and give people exactly what they need when they ask for it."

"Anyone who spends their life on a computer is pretty unusual."

"It is extremely unlikely that anyone coming out of school with a technical degree will go into one area and stay there. Today's students have to look forward to the excitement of probably having three or four careers."

"Whenever two programmers meet to criticize their programs, both are silent."

"If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some."

"There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network."

"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."

"The real accomplishment of modern science and technology consists in taking ordinary men, informing them narrowly and deeply and then, through appropriate organization, arranging to have their knowledge combined with that of other specialized but equally ordinary men. This dispenses…"

"Two men were examining the output of the new computer in their department. After an hour or so of analyzing the data, one of them remarked: "Do you realize it would take 400 men at least 250 years to make…"