"It is a commonplace of modern technology that problems have solutions before there is knowledge of how they are to be solved."

"Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free."

"Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons."

"Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes."

"Science is not marginal. Like art, it is a universal possession of humanity, and scientific knowledge has become a vital part of our species' repertory. It comprises what we know of the material world with reasonable certainty. . . .…"

"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."

"MS-DOS, an OS originally designed for a microprocessor that modern kitchen appliances would sneer at."

"A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind."

"Never before in history has innovation offered promise of so much to so many in so short a time."

"There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness."

"There will always be things we wish to say in our programs that in all known languages can only be said poorly."

"To go forward, you must backup."

"My understanding is their objective is to increase their capacity for the Internet, search engines. All I know is there's a lot of computers."

"Technology is not an image of the world but a way of operating on reality. The nihilism of technology lies not only in the fact that it is the most perfect expression of the will to power... but also in…"

"Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves."

"Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame."

"From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it."

"Programmers are not to be measured by their ingenuity and their logic but by the completeness of their case analysis."

"The sooner you start coding a program, the longer it will take."

"If google made $1 everytime someone used them to find an answer to a tech support question, they would own microsoft."

"Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw."

"Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter."

"Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand."

"People say Microsoft paid $14M for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed $14M only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a…"

"When we first started, we would message all the time, ... He would log on, and mostly we would just message back and forth at the beginning of the relationship. Now, we use the computer, phones, letters, airlines - everything."

"There's a lot of Google fascination out there and we share it, and we're going to compete, we're going to compete very, very hard."

"A program without a loop and a structured variable isn't worth writing."

"Well, another market is being created now out of Internet technology."

"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."

"First words on the first telephone - "Mr. Watson -- come here -- I want to see you.""

"In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up…"

"There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer."

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

"I see no progress in this industry. These clocks are no faster than the ones they made a hundred years ago."

"Software is under a constant tension. Being symbolic it is arbitrarily perfectible; but also it is arbitrarily changeable."

"Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited."

"In the long run every program becomes rococo - then rubble."

"There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network."

"Technology does not drive change -- it enables change."

"Windows is just DOS in drag."

"Everybody who runs a Web site knows we're not assured of compatibility."

"Over the centuries the Indians developed sign language for communicating phenomena of interest. Programmers from different tribes (FORTRAN, LISP, ALGOL, SNOBOL, etc.) could use one that doesn't require them to carry a blackboard on their ponies."

"They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows."

"To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so."

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration."

"The telephone wire, as we know it, has become too slow and too small to handle Internet traffic. It took 75 years for telephones to be used by 50 million customers, but it took only four years for the Internet…"

"There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies."