"If we believe in data structures, we must believe in independent (hence simultaneous) processing. For why else would we collect items within a structure? Why do we tolerate languages that give us the one without the other?"

"Results eventually reach a point at which a finer mesh no longer yields an appreciable difference. This type of convergence study helps generate accurate solutions with meshes that are sufficiently dense and yet not overly demanding of computer resources."

"If Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell-check."

"We're only at the beginning of what we have to do here."

"Like punning, programming is a play on words."

"We know by now that if we make technology the predestined force in our lives, man will walk to the measure of its demands. We know how leveling that influence can be, how easy it is to computerize man and…"

"PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals."

"Giving up on assembly language was the apple in our Garden of Eden: Languages whose use squanders machine cycles are sinful. The LISP machine now permits LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf."

"The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late."

"C++ : Where friends have access to your private members."

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."

"There's a lot of Google fascination out there and we share it, and we're going to compete, we're going to compete very, very hard."

"Everything should be built top-down, except the first time."

"Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?"

"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0."

"If computers had invented humans as part of a BI program (biological intelligence), humans would have been tossed aside as barely having achieved perfect game play at Tic-Tac-Toe."

"Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhapsonly weigh 1 1/2 tons."

"The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability."

"Customers are still setting the technology agenda. Not just you, our customers, but your customers as well. What more and more are telling you is what kind of services they need, and how and when they want those services delivered…"

"Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon."

"I am sometimes something of a lazy person, so when I end up spending a lot of time using something myself — as I did with Google in the earliest of days, I knew it was a big deal."

"The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology."

"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."

"To turn really interesting ideas and fledgling technologies into a company that can continue to innovate for years, it requires a lot of disciplines."

"Modern technology Owes ecology An apology."

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."

"I have gotten everything from a one-page letter written in pencil to a 50-page computer generated masterpiece."

"There's a whole kind of hip element to it -- now I need this. Right smack in the middle of the 21st century, sophistication is marrying itself to a very old-fashioned notion of a table where you play games, long…"

"We are now able to see things in nature of what was previously only available in computer simulation."

"The computer is the ultimate polluter: its feces are indistinguish- able from the food it produces."

"Structured Programming supports the law of the excluded muddle."

"SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

"The effort required to correct an error increases exponentially with time."

"I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS."

"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that–lacking zero–they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs."

"I also introduce skills like using a hula hoop or jumping rope. I think many kids this age need a break from the computer or video games to learn these very important physical skills."

"I get Canadian porno - that's the extent of satellite service and Internet in my house."

"Programming is an unnatural act."

"There are managers so preoccupied with their e-mail messages that they never look up from their screens to see what's happening in the nondigital world."

"In English every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our programming languages."

"Double your drive space — delete Windows !"

"Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology."

"The Internet is the end of civilizations, cultures, interests and ethics."

"Too few people in computer science are aware of some of the informational challenges in biology and their implications for the world. We can store an incredible amount of data very cheaply."

"The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!"

"Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris."

"That can be a good tax planning tool for small businesses - especially if you get a computer or something that you were planning to buy (in the coming year anyway)."

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense."